Comic Book Classics Revisited continues its look at the original Secret Wars.  We’ve made it to issue #5, and at last, the X-Men strike back!

Continuing on from last issue, the heroes narrowly escaped their fortress being destroyed and having a mountain range dropped on them.  They’ve found a small village to rest and heal.  Meanwhile, the X-Men joined forces with Magneto.  However, everyone’s about to get a bit more than they bargained for as Galactus is stirring on a mountain top.

The heroes look on in horror as Galactus summons his massive, space-faring home (even though they are holding out the suspense, we all know this is no bueno).  The village healer hurries Johnny Storm into her home.  The lovable scamp thinks she wants to get some action before the world ends, but in reality, she wants to use a telepathic vapor to learn about their presence.  For new readers, we get a couple of pages of recap about how the heroes and villains, and Battleworld itself, were culled together for the Beyonder’s delight.  As that ends, we learn the healer’s name is Zsaji and now she’s ready to get that action Johnny thought she wanted earlier.  In Magneto’s camp, the X-Men begin to mobilize under Professor X’s command after he shows them Galactus’ home looming in the heavens.

At Doombase, the Wrecking Crew decide to bully Volcana and Molecule Man.  That goes about as well as you might expect as Molecule Man snaps back exclaiming his mastery of molecules makes him the most powerful person in the universe.  When the others use that as an excuse to back down, Piledriver soon finds himself standing alone against Molecule Man.  He compresses the molecules in Piledriver’s costume so tightly that it turns it into metal leaving the thug incapacitated.  After Molecule Man and Volcana depart, the villains notice the orbiting home of Galactus.  Inside, Doctor Doom relishes at Galactus’ actions and summons his villains to battle.  Enchantress, though, wants out and would like to team up with Doom to find an escape – enticing him with things like her love and the ability to fix his scarred face.  Ultimately, he declines her advances and offers (clearly he’s either an idiot or a total madman or both).

While Professor X attempts to read Galactus’ mind and possibly find a way to reason with the giant, Reed Richards attempts communication as it is becoming clear and clearer that Galactus is hungry and is planning to eat the planet and everything on it.  Reed goes unnoticed until, at Magneto’s pressing, Professor X’s mental powers causes a surge.  Galactus blasts Magneto’s base and swats Richards away.  Now with Galactus aware of a potential threat, he sends down a creature to deal with the pests the heroes are to him.  A coordinated effort eventually brings down the monster, but there’s no time for rest as the villains attack yet again.

Just as the heroes appear to be in big trouble again from the ferociousness of the villains’ attack, the X-Men come to even the playing field.  The X-Men fight so hard and attack so fiercely, they force a retreat for the villains.  However, not everyone goes unharmed.  Colossus gets roughed up pretty bad, but Professor X orders them all back to the ship and demands that Colossus not be moved.  Professor X explains that moving Colossus would have killed him (he needed not medical science to back that up, just trust him), and the healer at the village could save his life.  Colossus declines Zsaji’s attention.  After she heals the other wounded, Colossus spots her and Johnny Storm kiss and he becomes immediately jealous.  Even so much so that he can’t even picture the face of his true love, Kitty Pryde.

On Galactus’ ship, Doctor Doom, who slipped into the ship while his villains fought the heroes and X-Men below, is looking for a way to take control of Galactus’ powerful home and then overpower the Beyonder himself.  We’re left with a cliffhanger of Doom finding something in particular that has caught his evil, selfish eye…

Another exciting issue comes to pass.  What I kind of find the most interesting about these early issues is how often the villains are attacking and just pounding away at the heroes as much as possible.  They’ve gone from being a horribly disorganized group to getting a little better organized to now a full on threat.  All this is happening with a group of people who pretty much hate each other and the heroes and NOT happening on the side of Marvel’s greatest tactician, Captain America.  That makes for a neat little spin.  It’s as if Cap is just letting the villains tire themselves out from attacking time and again.  Well, at least that’s how I’ve always looked at this.

My favorite part in almost the entire series happens near the end of this issue.  Iron Man is calling for Zsaji to come over and help Colossus, but Johnny Storm says something about how there’s no guarantee she can help a mutant because he’s basically a whole other species.  Iron Man, who it should be noted is James Rhodes during this event with Tony Stark no longer wearing the armor, responds, “Lemme get this straight…  A guy who can burst into flames has doubts that this broad from planet Mongo can help this mutant dude?  Thank god he ain’t black, huh?”  How bonkers (read “awesome”) is that line?  That line has 5 points of awesome: 1) the use of the word “lemme” 2) the use of the word “broad” 3) a reference to Mongo from Flash Gordon 4) callin’ Colossus a “mutant dude” and finally 5) the accusation that Johnny Storm is racist.  I applaud you, Mr. Jim Shooter.  A finer word bubble may have never been published in a comic book.

I guess I can wrap it up here.  On Friday, we’ll get to the end of the first half of Secret Wars and find out exactly what Doom saw in the last panel that led to our cliffhanger!