I’m a long time hero geek.  I read comics, watch the tv shows, go to the movies, and read (and even write) stories and novels about superhumans.  I remembered seeing commercials for “My Super Ex-Girlfriend” back when it came out, but I had not managed to catch in the theater.  So, when it came on one of the cable channels I get, I decided I’d give it a shot.  I’m kinda glad I didn’t see it in the theater now. 

It starts off, sort of, as a Superman parody, with G-Girl flying around, saving the city, and being a fairly spectacular hero.  It then devolves into cliches, bad jokes, and leaves you with a general sense of “What were they thinking?”  Many years ago, I did a list of the ten worst comic book movies.  If I ever update that list, this movie might go on there, even though it doesn’t directly have a comic book that it’s based on.

Uma Thurman stars as G-Girl, who maintains a secret identity as mousy art gallery worker Jenny Johnson, right down to the Clark Kent style glasses.  Luke Wilson is Matt Saunders, a fairly average guy who works in an office.  He asks Jenny out on the subway, gets turned down, but then impresses her when someone grabs her purse and he runs after the guy.  That’s a decently done scene, and could have led to a fun movie.

Instead, as they end up dating, G-Girl comes across as insane, shrewish, needy, and the sort of person anyone would run away from in any kind of relationship, romantic or otherwise.  She uses her powers to do all sorts of petty, spiteful things to Matt once he’s smart enough to break up with her.  She’s supposed to be a hero?  By what standard?

There’s a somewhat amusing sub-plot of G-Girl’s archenemy Professor Bedlam (Eddie Izzard) spying on her, and later trying to get information out of Matt.  Matt, despite a lot of provocations, keeps all of G-Girl’s secrets, trying to do the right thing in a really screwed up situation.  Finally, when G-Girl endangers the life of Matt’s long-time coworker and recent love interest Hannah (Anna Faris), he ends up cooperating with Bedlam to trap G-Girl.  Things get even weirder from there.

This movie is so uninspiring, even IMDB got it wrong, listing Professor Bedlam as Baron Bedlam on the credit page.  Baron Bedlam, for those who care, was actually a Batman and the Outsiders foe back in the 80’s.  There are a lot of places this movie went wrong, where, if they’d made different choices, it could have been pretty damn cool.

After Matt chases down the purse-snatcher, Jenny comments that she helps everyone, but no one’s ever really helped her before.  This could have been a great angle to explore, someone actually helping out a hero, but after that line, it doesn’t come back until the last few moments of the movie.

If Matt had been a jerk, the movie could have gone down the female revenge-fantasy track. It would have been a dark story, but there’s a lot of potential there.  Instead, Matt was possibly the most likable character in the movie.  He was a much better person than G-Girl.

Bedlam and G-Girl had a long and complicated history.  There were a lot of good, interesting things they could have done with that.  Instead, it was mostly more cheap jokes, with a side of one of those old “After School Special” kind of things.  Credit where it’s due, they did have a pretty unique hero/villain resolution at the end of the movie.

Matt has a best friend/sidekick, Vaughn Haige (Rainn Wilson) .  This is one of those pairings that only make sense in movies.  Matt’s a decent guy, Vaughn is a would-be womanizing sociopath.  He seems to have no redeeming qualities whatever.  He exists only for cheap laughs, exposition, and to show how good a guy Matt is, especially in comparison.  He’s a vile person, an easy writing shortcut, and somehow he gets what he wants by the end of the movie.  Slimy guys get rewarded?

They even cheaped out on the soundtrack.  While there were several recognizable songs, they were covers, and not good ones.  They kind of sounded like someone connected to the movie had a cousin who’s in a band, so why don’t we use them?

There were a few (very few) moments that made me smile.  None made me laugh out loud, or think this was a good movie.  It fails as a comedy, a hero movie, and really, just fails to entertain.  Even as a hero completist kind of guy, I can’t recommend this one.  I’ll give it a 1 out of 5.