Gather round, kiddies! I’ve got a story to tell you! It’s about Han Solo, and the story is called, The Force Awakens. OK, OK, I know what you parents are thinking… but don’t worry, I’ve got it covered.
A long time ago in a galaxy far, far away…
Han and Chewie were flying around in their giant space freighter. Suddenly, the found the Millennium Falcon, their old ship that’d been stolen from them! There were two people, Rey and Finn, and a droid called BB-8 aboard, and they needed their help. Suddenly, space pirates came aboard! They were mad at Han because while Han has a heart of gold, he is, in fact, not great at job. Then, the monsters Han has aboard his ship are set loose! Oh no! Luckily, Han, Rey, Finn and BB-8 get aboard the Millennium Falcon and escape!
“But what happens next?” asked a toe-headed lad of four years old.
Nothing. Nothing else happens. Now let’s all go out for frosty chocolate milkshakes!
Or maybe just don’t market this story to babies.